I have made it a practice to tell a man that I am going to go on a date with right away that I have lupus, I even go as far as suggesting that he read the spoon theory. Here is the link to the spoon theory in case you have never read it or want to use it as a reference.
When do you think is a good time to tell someone about your chronic illness?
I have been told by a lot of my fellow Lupies (people with Lupus) that they keep it a secret out of fear of being rejected for something they have no control over or because they do not want to hear the stupid comments. I can not deny that I have heard my share of stupid responses when I tell someone I have lupus. I had one guy ask me if he could catch it from having sex with me, obviously, we never had sex! I had another guy say to me I heard that women with lupus have bad vaginal order, needless to say, he did not find out from me. I just believe that you should tell someone what they are getting into. Lupus is not for the weak of heart so I think telling people I have lupus to weed out the weak at heart, the ones who could not handle this life with me.
Everyone is afraid of and dislikes rejection but how long can you hide the rash, joint pain, being unable to be in the sun, or trips to the hospital? Since we “look” health it can be hard to get people to understand the pain and fatigue that they can not see.
I have dated some amazing men who have done research some of them now know more about lupus than I do. We lupies are strong, amazing and wonderful anyone who can not deal with you doesn’t deserve you. We are more than LUPUS!!
